My tenacity for quality, as evident throughout my dotted history of reviews, shall not yet be called into question, for the Armoury Café of this humble hamlet of Glencree has gone to quality and beyond.
The café at first caught my perceptive grasp whence I...was returning from one of my famed traipses through a nearby forest while I mused over the intricate concerns of an enlightened gentleman such as myself. Such crucial questions. ranging wildly from "what happens after death" to "does Lightning McQueen need car insurance or life insurance". I can assure you, dear reader, my concerns are so utterly complex and mentally-stimulating, that I completely forgot about my trusty canine, who pounced on the opportunity and begun to roll through a substance most foul to the side of my tranquil little forest path.
Why, it simply would not do... In her right state, this canine was simply far too filthy to grace the doors of a place of fine eatery, and I certainly was not going to leave her in my vehicle.
That is the precise moment when the Armoury Café, and what a café it is, caught my perceptive eye and grasped my attentive... attention, for this Café, homely and tranquil, has quite the fondness for wayward canines. Indeed, I was permitted to take my canine, unkempt as it were, to the Café regardless.
A table under the sun, surrounded by lush forest, with an atmosphere to match, and a curious canine at my side. It was truly something unforgettable. I still count myself lucky to this day that I had stumbled upon a café so fine and progressive as to permit my wayward canine to join me on the outside terrace.
But of course, many of you are indifferent to this predicament, and would rather not be dogged by my furry friend. You're here for the food, and food you shall have!
The BLT sandwich, delivered safe and sound. It arrived at my table with service profound. A leaf of lettuce, touch of tomato and bit of bacon, sandwiched neatly between two crusty slices of Ireland's finest. Oh, truly a sight, no-- truly a TASTE to behold, and behold you should, my friend.
Now, for the less perceptive of you, the l'ambiance of this cozy café may not be immediately clear! But do not fret, for I can make it clear. As clear as a droplet of water, flowing through the Glencree river, and with fresh air as crisp as Tayto. All the warmth and comfort of a Christmas morning with all the heart of a devoted mother cooking for her ravenous sons.
Forgive me, reader, for I hate to bring us back to this mortal coil for a matter as frivolous as money. Not as if the concept of money has any meaning for one such as myself, but the lesser fortunate may find themselves in "financial ire" shall we say. And for the ire'd of your ilk, rest easy, for the Armoury Café will not only provide value for your hard-earned money, but it will take you by the reins and steer you to a land where corporate greed and financial concerns simply don't exist. You'll forget all about your troubles when you first lay eyes upon the menu-- where the flavor is high and the prices low.
*ahem* On a more positive note, intrepid reader.
The surrounding area is undoubtedly a feature. Such a serendipitous landscape, as if God himself painted the most beautiful portrait he could, and decided at the decisive moment, "Lemme just make room for a café here so people can enjoy my work". God certainly works in mysterious ways, dear reader, but I can assure you, if he continues to work like this, we'll should be only the finest of friends.
In fact, the portrait he hath painted is so alluring and beautiful that I found my idle musings to be hastened. The thought-provoking surroundings invoked only the most learned of ideas and only assisted in asserting my genius. I believe I might finally come up with the true meaning of life one day if I continue as such.
4000 characters down the line and one pleonasmic haze later, I finally come to my senses and realize: "What good is a review, without a haiku?"
The finest of cafés
sitting atop a river-
I'll have a BLT please.More